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United Socialist States of America
Similar to a World without Stephen, The United Socialist States of America (or USSA) is a nightmarish dystopian future in which the former United States of America has surrendered to Obamarxism, and turned into a communist nation ruled with an iron fist by Comrade Chairman Barack Hussein Obama. =The Rise of a Socialist State= ''Warning! The following section contains a series of both current and fictional future events that may be disturbing to some readers. Reader discretion is advised.'' 2007-08 A Warning Ignored Before Comrade Barack Obama transformed our once noble country into a Socialist State, he made himself known as a popular political figure with a carefully crafted masquerade, hiding his true self. In these early days—when something could have been done about it—heroes such as Sean Hannity and Michelle Malkin saw through his visage and warned us this would happen to our nation if he was elected. But even those heroes underestimated this supposed "dark" horse candidate. Through the use of the internets, and his almost magical ability to actually listen to what people had to say, he easily entranced millions of supporters with Left Wing Madness, causing them to give all of their life savings to his presidential campaign. The grip on his sheeple was so great that they would gladly and willingly attack and harass "Counterrevolutionaries" in the name of their messiah. Obama's hypnotism even stemmed to the Greatest President Ever and the ruling Republicans, to such an extent that in August of 2008 they implemented National Socialism by instructing the Federal Reserve to spend $800 Billion to buy up at least 50% (if not more) of all industry, banking, and manufacturing, effectively providing the infrastructure and ownership of the private sector required by Comrade Obama's incoming government. 2008 Presidential Election This delirious fever of Obama support continued to build through election day of November 4th, 2008. Not even the excellent gunsmanship of Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin could slow the tide of Obama voters as she slew tens of thousands of them from her custom made helicopter. When the day was finished, the once thought impossible had happened, Brit Hume showed a human emotion (for the first time in years). Hume broke down and cried on the set of Fox and Friends over the death of America, once it had finally sunk in that Barack Hussein Obama would become President of the United States. In response, patriotic Americans could sense the dark days approaching as they stockpiled caches of firearms in response to the approaching reign of the new President-Elect. 2009 The Last Days of The Best President EVER! With only a few days remaining in George W. Bush's Constitution-defending Presidency, and after all hope had left that The Decider would for the first time ever, defy the Constitution and stay in office for a third term (or indefinitely), strange occurrences began to appear as if it were an omen. Bald Eagles started falling from the sky suffering from sudden Cardiomyopathy, the bear population tripled suddenly, and the the Liberty Bell finally cracked in half, splitting the bell in two. It appeared that America had hit an all-time low. The Inauguration However saddened Real Americans felt up to that point, the darkest day actually arrived on January 20th, 2009 when then President-Elect Obama was inaugurated the President of the United States of America. The day would have been otherwise memorable if not for the inauguration, because the weather that January day in Washington D.C. was very unusual. For this day only, Washington was overcome with a freak warm spell. Temperatures rose into the upper 70's, causing animals of all sorts to wake from their winter slumber and walk about the land with a sudden sense of purpose. Blue birds chirped gaily, rabbits frolicked in the flower-blossomed meadow, it appeared as if every object that seemed dead the day previous was now infused with color and vibrancy. First year of Chairmanship The first official act of President Obama was to officially re-title the head of Executive Branch as "Chairman" instead of "President". From there President Obama Chairman Obama instituted a series of pogroms designed to boost the Democrat-sunken economy through the building of Infrastructure. Including the maintenance and expansion of Railroads, canals, Internets tubes, and other backbreaking work. No reasonable people—with the exception of Mexicans—would volunteer or do this kind of work, so Chairman Obama used this as a justification for opening America's Borders and allowing in millions of "Undocumented Americans". 2010 and Beyond In early 2010, Chairman Obama finally abandoned his search for the perfect hypoallergenic shelter doG. Instead the Obama's settled for a surprisingly hypoallergenic pet bear cub. While the Obama's were choosing a faithful companion, the only companion left to the American people was Obama Recession, which continued to ravage the world well into 2010. Thus allowing Comrade Chairman Obama to globalize world economies and creating a single currency (the Ruble), and creating a New World Order. The Bible has told us that under such a unified global economic and social system will lead to the rise of the anti-christ. This will obviously lead to the rapture and the End of the world, in which Jesus will return to take all the true believers to heaven. Other changes under the Kommunisticheskaya Obama * Decreed that not only that gay people could get married, but also that only gay people could be married. * Appointed Ward Churchill and Keith Olbermann to the supreme court. * Pushed a directive through the The People's Congress imposing a 50% income tax for those earning more than 20,000 руб in one year. * Animal species' populations throughout the world will triple causing Dr. Stephen Colbert's hard work in restoring the Elephant population unnoticeable. * Chairman Obama outlawed guns in the USSA, leading to a dramatic decrease in gun related deaths, but also a 800,000% increase in Bow & Arrow related deaths. * With the help of the endless throngs of homosexual sculptors available in the USSA, the Lincoln Memorial will become the Che Guevara Memorial. * Aborted Fetuses will become an instant fashion accessory (along with assless chaps) among young men. * The Minimum Wage will be increased to 10.00 руб an hour, somehow making our former nation even more Red. * Members of the Boy Scouts and similar groups are disbanded and ordered to undergo "Sexual Preference Sensitivity" indoctrination. * Eating meat will soon be criminalized and punishable by fine. * Eagles are now a specter of the passed as they were hunted to extinction. =Life in the United Socialist States of America= As one would well imagine (don't actually try this!), life in the USSA would differ drastically than living in United States as we know it today. Employment and Work Unlike today where one is blessed with the choice of which profession he or she(as we all know, there are only 12 jobs in which women are qualified for) wants to be employed in, this is not the case in USSA. Since there is not a private sector in the USSA's economy, all employment is granted through the State. The Employment Process To gain employment in the USSA, one must visit their local People's Commissariat for Labor office in which they will have to first wait in line for at least 5 hours before he/she was allowed to take the 8-hour long Occupational Entrance exam upon which the results will determine which job they are assigned. Positions Available Based on one's skills, they will be assigned to work in one of the following positions: environmentalist, tax collector, grave digger, government bean counter, thought policeman thought police "person", gay activist, fetus disposal specialist, prostitute, librarian/book burner or an indoctrinator. All other professions or services will be exported/provided by workers in China or India. Since all Manly industrial jobs have been assigned to the Mexicans (who work for 1/10th the salary of a Red-blooded American) or like the coal miner whose job has now become obsolete, due to the bankruptcy of the coal industry. Religion Under the subjugating leadership of the Muslim Obama, and the godless People's Congress, Christianity was officially denounced as the religion of the United States in the second year of his term. That unfortunately was just the beginning of religious change. ]] The End of a Christian Nation Shortly after the abolishment of Christianity, the Supreme Court ruled that The Bible was considered "offensive to homosexuals" by criticizing their lifestyle, preaching anything out of it was considered "Hate Speech". Due to such opposition, members of The One True Faith increasingly must retreat out of public eye and worship in secret. Those who are caught are subject to more "Same-Sex Sensitivity Training". Attack of the Pagans At the same time that Christianity is being smothered in the former America, other religions are flourishing under the new religion seminars. Citizen comrades of the USSA can now be "enlightened" in the ways of Mohammed, Buddha, Colbear, Mace Windu, Xenu, and countless other hippie religions and be rewarded with a tax credit. Only Catholicism and Judaism are forbidden from being taught. Education and Indoctrination System Like everything else in the USSA, educating our children will be run exclusively through the State. No longer will Christian parents be able to save their children from the hells of Public Education through the use of Homeschooling or placing them in the oasis of Private Education. K-12 From the onset of education in public schools, children undergo "gender identity training" in which they are shown the "benefits" of a homosexual lifestyle. Also taught at a young age (in this case, age 7) is Sex Education, because "kids are growing up faster these days". They are instructed in the use of dildos and anal beads through "hands on" learning by former Catholic Priests. Children are now taught to read in both American and Mexican languages using the standard reading text book The Audacity of Hope. Starting in forth grade children will be exposed to science courses such as Evolution. Those gifted enough will study advanced subjects such as Global Warming Institutes of Higher Education Those chosen by the State (often based on nothing more usefulness and loyalty to the State) to continue their instructions after high school are sent to a series of Institutes of Higher Education. These disgusting institutions are notorious for their overuse of books in brainwashing educating young people. Even worse, in these Centers for Indoctrination, students are slowly conditioned into accepting and living a hippie lifestyle. In the presence of open grass fields, in combination with the lack of parental supervision, cult-like organizations, and free flowing evil, it is only a matter of time before their willpower depletes, and are soon among the hoards of sheeple. National Defense Unlike previous administrations under control of the GOP (God's Own Party), Chairman Obama vastly underfunded the troops, while at the same time utilizing cut and run tactics that were perfected by the Democratic Congresses of the previous 40 years. Gaying It Up Chairman Obama overturned Don't Ask, Don't Tell which allowed the Military to actively recruit homosexuals. This of course led to the discovery that it wasn't necessary at all, although it did result in better color-coordination. This in turn saved the State of the USSA tens of millions of Rubles. The few existing members of the (formerly non-gay) military had to undergo yet another round of same-sex sensitivity training. Formation of Obama's "Black Shirts" True to his word, less than three years later, Comrade Obama sealed his position of power with the formation of his "black shirts". In combination with a massively underfunded military he now had the power to guard the administration from any potential coups with a fanatical and overwhelming army of mindless drones. These Black shirts are comprised mainly of brainwashed youth who were entranced during the 2008 Obama/Biden Presidential campaign who later swore a personal oath of allegiance to their leader. Sports and Leisure End of the Rose Bowl presented by Citi™ Obama, like Hitler who published his plans to change Europe in his book Mein Kampf, has openly stated his plans to ruin and pervert a noble establishment, College football bowl games. Despite many warning signs, people believed (like they did with Hitler) that it was too great of a task, and couldn't be done. Obama single handedly destroyed the long standing tradition of College Football Bowl games and replaced it with an amateurish playoff system. flocking to buy Mazdas.)]] The Rise of Soccer Futbol Nostalgic about the game a young Obama grew up watching in his native country of Kenya, he yearned to have soccer became the most popular sport in America. To the surprise of the furious Obama, the American people showed a spirit of defiance and independence that had once made the country great, and refused to like it. Even with a television blackout of all sports not soccer could not raise its popularity because it was just too boring. Soccer may have become the most watched sport (thanks to the Mexicans), but it will never the most popular. Obama may have been able to shred our Constitution, turn us all gay, outlaw Christianity, and even install video cameras in our showers, but the one thing he will never be able to do, is make Americans like soccer. Language Second only to a physical barrier nothing keeps illegals out of the country more than a language barrier. Despite the enormous efforts of the English-only speaking George W. Bush to make Americans speak "American", all progress was lost once Chairman Obama was inaugurated. Eh? The former-America now has three official languages. Mexican, Canadian, and Arabic. Mexican was a natural choice after an invasion of 150 million former illegals (now amnestied) who all spoke the language of their native country. Canadian was added shortly after the Canadians drained the Great Lakes and held the water at ransom until we started to respect them more. Arabic was the third added as a reparation for the Islamic freedom fighters falsely imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay as deamed by the USSA Court system under council of the ACLU. Gender Relations Relations between the two sexes remained important for those few who were not gay or not all the way gay. But as you would expect, The USSR's perverse policies obliterated any cultural norm. Equal Wages Another American tradition shattered under Obama's policy of Change, this being that women should make the same amount of money as men do. Equally as shocking and repulsive is his rational for this new policy. The Chairman stated that he believed that women can perform their jobs just as well as men (imagine that, LOL!). This cherished pay scale structure has served American companies incredibly well for generations, there must have been some reason for initially structuring like it was. From that point on, the challenge facing the few remaining non-gay men is how are they to encourage women to stay at home now that they are making just as much as the men? Deterioration of Gender Roles It was bad enough when suddenly women were allowed to wear pants, but now under Obama, the division between what a men does, and what a women can do has blurred beyond comprehension. Among the changes are: *Men expected to do their fair share of breast feeding infants. *Toilet seats are no longer manufactured with a movable lid, requiring both sexes to sit while going to the bathroom. *Women allowed to learn how to read and write. *Favored sexual position among women is now the "Black Widow". *All heterosexual sex will now be considered rape. *It is no longer popular in rap videos for women to be called "bitches". *Testimony from women now admissible in court. *Men are now expected to cry at least once in their lifetime. *She would be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. *Super Bowl Sunday would no longer be a day charished by abusive husbands. *One the positive side, The Lifetime channel would be cancelled, because there would no longer be a need to show how evil and monsterous men are. =A Final Thought= Although the existance of such a dystopic reality once existed only in the minds of science fiction writers, many Real Americans now consider the probability of an actual USSA just shy of inevitable. But take heart, America will never go down without a fight. Her moral majority are fighting harder than ever to ensure this will never happen. =External Tubes for Horror Genre Enthusiasts= *A Letter from 2012 in Obama's America - A letter from an oppressed Christian in the year 2012 shortly before his execution. *www.osamalovesobama.com - This non-racist internets tube clearly and logically explains Obama's ties to the Colbear. *http://stopobamunism.com/ - One intraweb user's attempt to make a difference. *A German Women Remembers - A letter from a German women who observed Hitler's rise to power, now warning us about Obama!!! *http://thepeoplescube.com/ - A webtube that pretends that we are currently behind the black curtain of the USSA. *Understanding Obama: The Making of a Fuehrer - Another ignored warning from the year 2008.